I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
