Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
