it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize