It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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