He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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