I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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