what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize