Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
