i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
