pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
