Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
