so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
