"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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