Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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