this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
