just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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