Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I cut my penus on the lid.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
