we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
