Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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