yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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