Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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