I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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