woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
