We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
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Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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