just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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