Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
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