Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
