I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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