I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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