David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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