this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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