I will die if light touches me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
