I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
