we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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