hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
