he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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