p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
