So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
