Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
