Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
