She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
