why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
