I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
