i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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