the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
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I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
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the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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