it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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