Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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