i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
