I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
