Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
