i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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