Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
