He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
