your thong is hanging out like whoa
We're facebook friends in real life
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
