Have you finally orgasmed yet?
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
