they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
