Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
