i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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