we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
