Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
